Saturday, April 25, 2009

Reverbera-te

Sem sonhos, cem mundos
Um crime em todos
Morrer sem definição
Para todos os idiotas
E esperar os duzentos dias
Sem glória, sem vida
Sem caminhos.


Reverbera-te entre os cem mundos
E todos os outros universos
E verá a ação das suas ações
E o eco que ela gera

E tudo que voce faz ecoa em algum lugar
Centra-te,
Inspira-te,
Ganha a si mesmo do redor
Há quanto tempo você pertence a si mesmo?


E ve tuas ações no eco do cosmo
A tristeza do caos
E a beleza da vida

Reverbera-te.
Reverbera-te mais forte.
Reverbera-te em luz.
Mais forte.

Não há nada mais a perder
Agora tudo há fazer é nada
Ou consertar

E se tudo que você quer é a verdade
Se você não se contentar com a que tem
Você irá além
E além da verdade, só há a mentira

E você vai perder o foco de sua jornada
E perderá a si mesmo.

Luxúria

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Ulm Hesm

Mirem os canhões para o chão e atirem contra mim,
A revolução do ontem virou o mundo redondo de hoje
Essas vozes que não cessam reverberam entre mim
Eu dou voz a elas, desde ontem e até hoje
Deixei-as me tomarem e agora vejam-nas, paradas aqui
Eu era o guerreiro, hoje eu sou o soldado forçado
Eu era a guerra,
Hoje sou o escravo

E os sonhos se tornaram reais,
Pesados como chumbo caíram no chão e morreram.
(Sim, desta maneira, sem clímax.
Morreram sem tristeza nem lágrimas.
Nem ódio. Morreram como morte aceitada)

E a vida segue em frente, linda
Sorrindo e acenando e levando tiro de quem lhe sorri
E as vozes reverberam dentro de voce, ódio.
Ódio que se odeia. Assim a morte se permeia!
Estranha maneira que temos de alcançar a guerra,
Aceitamos o céu, tanto a terra

Ódio mortal. Vozes dentro da cabeça vão cessar
Vou chorar e elas vão parar
E talvez digam que sou indigno ao aceitar isso
Vão se fuder, vão se ferrar
Eu lhes daria a culpa de tudo facilmente agora
Mas as vozes devem cessar.

Ódio vai descer das árvores como folhas no outono
A morte vai levá-las todas à terra no inverno
Deus queira que todas voltem ao topo na primavera
Antes que haja caos no verão.

Uma luxúria muito horrível está sob mim.

Monday, March 30, 2009

The Mystic Magic Murdering Music (iii)

- Who do you love?
- I love no one. And you?
- I love Death.
- Hm. Pretty much the same.

The Mystic Magic Murdering Music is sung again (iii)

Sunday, March 22, 2009

LIFELESS ENDEAVOUR

90% das vezes que voce tentar me ajudar sem eu pedir, você vai atrapalhar.
90% das vezes que eu precisar pedir ajuda, eu não vou pedir.
E quando eu menos esperar,

Eu virarei pó.

Dor.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Crying heart out

E eu fico mesmo triste por saber que voce ta por ae
E que parece nao estar nem ae.
E que eu to sentindo a distância se alongar e o elástico se esticar
E a distância aumentar...
Ah tristeza.
Também depende de você agora
Não posso mais carregar tudo nas costas
Desculpe...

Agora é a minha vez de desistir.
Desculpa. Não deu mais.

Você

Você fez tudo de novo.
Ah, você fez, como um ciclo
Te disseram que para aprender, se estrepa
Você não entendeu
Ah, seu idiota
Você não entende nada, não é mesmo?
Enquanto você matematizar o ilógico
Você se estrepará

E isso é uma crítica a você, que não aprendeu
Que pisa no mesmo calo volta e meia
E se estrepa
E não aprende


Cale a boca
E vá ensinar uma música ao mundo.

Friday, February 13, 2009

The Mystic Magic Murdering Music (i)

A song so short
It doesn't have rhymes
The mystic magic murdering music's
Sung again

It bears no explanation
It tells you the truth
The mystic magic murdering music's
Sung again

Depression's mixed with darkness
Sadness hovers around
It's a mystic magic murdering music's
Song again

The mystic magic murdering music's sang again
The mystic magic murdering music's sang again
The mystic magic murdering music's sang again
The mystic magic murdering music's sang again

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Daylight Revival

Wake up in the morning, see the sun rise
Feeling morning breath smacking my cheek
Looked with gloom to morning light
Morning comes without no seek
Morning

Mourning
Look astounded to the sky
And trees, so softly speaking through their leaves
They once had made me want to cry
So softly forgotten, I'was brought to knees

And thought that gold would be not having problems,
I'd rather say that gold is solving them
I got up today, not shining high
But even an* a star's exploding 'twill keep shining

Noon's gone, midday's light non-shining
Bright sky's left for cloud day's rain
No longer hearken for trees' leaf crying
The pouring rain will leave a craving
Afternoon

Afternoon,
Thought that daylight would never come again,
And got so glad about it
Thought that dying wouldn't be so vain,
Wasn't glad about it

And then the rain stopped pouring
I saw the whispering trees in green
Crawling, saw my insects crawling
Thought it'd be the change to see my summer's bloom

Hearken now, saw their whispers turn to gold
Saw my chance coming,
said "hey, stop right there sucker"
Thought it could be time to make destiny unfold

She came to me, showed me a way
Told her I'd love it, sooner should it stay
Grabbed it with both hands
And made it stop like time in sand

And incredibly, the sun did not start its brightness
The clouds were still up in the sky
I just glanced at them and said ok, it is ok
I know that it's my time

My summer morning was spent in gloom
And still a thunderstorm was enough to bring up bloom
Strange living life, isn' t it
I know I loved it

I don't know where I'm going right now
But life's becoming lighter somehow
And hopefully sunlight will be lit once again
And I hope I'll see the trees again

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Darkness, my old enemy

Lurking around me as always
Whispering words of fear into my head
You are hate, you are horror
And I've been listening to you
How I hate you,
Every inch of me knows
And I'd take you down with sorrow,
With lust,
It would be so glad to take you down
Darkness around me
Whispering words of hate
Yet I seem to listen
But shall not do it
I'll stop hating you,
Will have pity on you
Will escape the maze of pride,
Fight the wars of lust,
Pray for someone, God,
Help me find someone to pray to
Will stop listening to you,
At the end, I think I'm breaking apart
So let me break apart
Break me down
Oh, war.

Constant Struggle

Down. This was the direction. He was losing family, he was losing love, he was losing friends, he was losing every inch of what he knew about him. He was losing faith. He was losing power. He was losing will. Every inch of him knew. He was going down. He was fateful. He was darkened. Every inch of him. He didn't know how. He didn't know when. He just wanted to be sure. He just wanted once to be sure that this struggle would end. He actually just wanted to have a faint hope that it would end.
And he knew he would survive. And he wasn't sure he was happy about it. It wasn't ok. He didn't know. He just didn't know.
Oh war. Have mercy on my soul.
Take down this constant struggle and let me go
I'll be kneeling on thorns for you.
Release me, set me free.
Oh, please.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Goodbye, Daughters of the Revolution

It came in an essay:

I wish not to harm you, I wish not to kill you. But you're starting to lose interest, and so am I. We are fading away, and what I thought I'd not lose, I'm starting to lose. How frail life is, specially when we make it frail.

You are there. I'm not with you.

Goodbye, daughters of the revolution.

(Title taken from The Black Crowes' Warpaint song Goodbye Daughters of the Revolution)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Apocalipse

E hoje eu decidi ser normal, uma vez na vida
Porque é simples, é correto, e evita problemas
Evita desgastes, evita desuso,
Evita mania, perseguição, mania
E vai fazer diferença pra voce,
E para mim também.

Porque respirar é importante
E comer devagar
Morder e sentir o sabor das coisas lentamente
Sem pressa, sem pressa, sem mania
E estabelecer o controle sobre si, e respirar novamente
E tentar não se coçar, e fazer o que quer e não o que tem vontade
E hoje você fez o possível
E trazer abaixo o apocalipse
E trazer abaixo o apocalipse

E ganhar e perder de novo
It's the dirty dirty race

Monday, January 19, 2009

No Songs

Never been a singer
Singing songs to you
It's not so easy
If you knew what's going on
Never been a singer
And you would never know
How many songs I have written
All of them I haven't shown

Never been too creative
Never been too brave
Never have been able
To tell my real crave
Never tried to hurt
Those ones, but myself
And at the end I suffer
Even'side my shell

And how desire's burning
And yet, I hide myself
Cause inside, know I nothing
Just maybe am fated to'hell
Maybe what is sorrow
Maybe that I fell
And how desire's burning
And yet, it hides itself

And no songs have I sung to you
Preferred to sing to me
A song that talks 'bout doom
And heroism that flees
Strange so much am I
I'd rather leave me be
Inside a pool of blackness
Than tell you what I feel
A loser end, I'll tell you what
You'll soon be hearing me
Outside this pool of blackness
I'll tell you what I see

And in the end, I will fall
In water, love or ground
And wait for you, my so dear friend
My lover, my sweetness, my caring face
It will be yours a choice
To drown me, love or not
But I swear I'll do the most
That will need to be done
Hoping more than ever
A singer I'll become,
That this time, I'm not wrong
I'll sing to you a song

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Hell

And thus down went John to hell, his soul tainted in blood red. As he descended, spirals of black winds surrounded him, carrying dust, slag and darkness. His eyes were petrified; though blind, he saw everything through pain, like the hurts that every little thing in that disgraced place felt. And he was breathless, cause he started remembering.

After a while, he stopped his fall. Like a demon reached he the purgatory; the walls were full of faces, screaming; he heard the voices of the ones he'd killed, like whispers in his ears; and he saw those vengeful frowns, those gray horrors full of hate - for at that moment, none that forgave had stood; these lightful ones had taken other route, to a calmer and more peaceful place.

And John stood, too, in dreadness. Darkness surrounding him was weighing down on his shoulders. He stared ahead, through lifeless spaces, and saw a dark man standing tall, with a book and a hammer.

- Here thou art, John Horsehooves. Expected have I for this meeting, like none shouldst think. I've been waiting like no one.....

John stood silent. The scream of a thousand voices was deafening him for everything. The dark man kept on:

- You have died... So suddenly. Like a rock you have fallen to the ground, and so unfair was your death. So... sleepy. So calm. So like everything that you have not caused to others. - His voice started growing - So unfair in the ways that you tortured, so unfair in the ways that you murdered, so unfair in the ways you have acted. - And it went down again, calmer. - Ah, John, but today shall not be unfair. Today, all that was made will be paid; today, you have finally made the mistake, you have finally betrayed God! So arrogant! So egocentric! And today, all will have justice. These voices will not cease, your pain will not stop, not for today, neither forever.

The boy kept studying his choices, but he was too aware of what beset him. He dropped a tear and dried all others, unconsciously knowing he was being watched by all those spirits of hunger and pain, awaiting for the fall of the hammer for the feast.

- You see, Man, man who has died; I will pronounce each and every crime you have commited. The murdering of Anna Lee, 6...

John fell deaf, in a strange kind of way. All voices, all echoes were so loud he could not distinguish one from another. He could hear the spirits, he could hear the Devil himself laughing at him, he could hear the shadows moving around him, and the judge so proudly standing high on his grave.

And he felt himself being beheaded, every member of his body being constantly pulled off and then put together back again. And he knew not what was going on outside his mind, cause all his senses had started blending.

And then he came to consciousness, and the judge was finishing his list of seven hundred thirty seven deadly sins and starting the sum of all the other less important sins. And John knew, or at least most of him knew, that at the end of that, he would be lost, damned forever. And he shivered, only once.

And the judge finished his list.

- Here we come to the end of more than an hour, Horsehooves. Easy enough is judging you... I hereby sentence you to the ninth level of Hell, the Cocytus. And may the devil never have mercy on you.

Suddenly all the spirits started laughing strongly at him. And the feast would start. There, at the purgatory, none had the leave to begin it, but once on the path to Hell, every one of them could do so. And a gate surged, swirling through the air, and started sucking his life. He felt it swipping away, his consciousness being torn apart, he felt his feet lighter and suddenly he was flying, already halfway to eternal darkness. And his soul, oh dear Lord, how could that ache so much; it was tearing itself in two, widening like a sheet on a bed, and that feeling of emptiness on him did not seem to vanquish.

And his soul glittered. In that darkness, it glittered once, right in the heart, and the pain of the tearing was at its utmost. He screamed, longly and lonely, and then he felt things calmer. And wind stopped to wind; and darkness stopped to darken; and suddenly everything was back to the purgatory's dreariness.

He lied on the ground, exhausted. Sweat was dripping from his soul. The judge looked astounded, confused, unknowing what had happened. "This is awkward. It seems that the goodness in you did not let itself be torn from the rest. I see here, boy... A mind manipulation. Yet you let it happen to you. Yet you were weak"

- But... it was not my fault.

- No use in begging for mercy. A righter damnation may yet be found to you. The Fourth Level of Hell, wherein you'll pay the greed for which you sold yourself.

Now, blackness and redness started to mix themselves down to the purgatory, descending upon that lying John. And the boy hovered around silently, though Hell swayed and walls crumbled, and within him that tearing feeling like pain that none could stand, in that cyclone of silence that deprived him from screaming. Again, the spirits hungered behind him, and still were they upset, for again, John could not be torn that easily; the Gates closed before him, unwilling to accept that sinner.

The boy crashed on the floor, leaving wreckage all around. The judge himself moved towards him, not able to believe in such occurence. Few times before had it happened, and most of them for the judge's lack of interest in properly judging (and again, most times for a judge's underestimating a sinner - some people just didn't seem so good). The man thought about his judgement, and once again read the book. Nothing. Everything was too damn right... wasn't it?

- I give you the chance to defend yourself, boy. - said he.

John slowly stood up. He cleaned his throat - he had got his chance. Still, he could barely breathe, and the pain still ached, and the grumbling of a thousand angry souls could be easily heard right now. Everything was odd; everyone was waiting angrily for his judgement, everything unusually started working in his favors; why was that? He had turned his back on God by his own mind.

- I was manipulated as a child who could not defend himself; I was abused and taken advantage of, by Him, my master. I did not think with my own mind, did I? Here I stand before your trial, but he should be here on my place.

The judge stood still for a while, then spoke again:

- Yet you have betrayed God, and in his kingdom you'll not enter. Therefore, your place is here. I hereby let the Nine Hells choose your fate. Farewell, Children of Death.

John didn't understand, and he feared deeply. Again, his defiance took place in his judgement, and he was convicted for that. When he realized, he was again off the ground, being smothered by some invisible gelatinous substance. Nine Portals opened around him, each of them sucking him and releasing him. No pain can be like that, and no one can stand it, including John. His heart gleamed for a last time, and he lost consciousness. Everything went dark, and the Purgatory was gone.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Escuro

- E você virou meus soldados contra mim
- Mas eu nunca deixei de lutar por você
- Mas ainda assim causou rebelião, não?
- E você não fez nada! Nada! Por um momento eu pedi que você entendesse, que você soubesse o que eu estava sentindo... que, caralho, eu estou descontente mas estou na guerra por você. Que eu sou negro por dentro espalhando a luz por fora. Ou que profetizo palavras negras e exemplifico atos brancos. E você não vai me entender? Você não vai entender que está na merda da hora de você parar de fazer eles se matarem, de fazer eles finalmente se entenderem? Deus, por favor, me entenda... Eu me ajoelho aqui frente a você; vê que ainda pingo o sangue da derrota, a lágrima do vencido, a fadiga do escravo, a vergonha do desconhecido. Mas nunca deixei de seguir teus comandos. Por mais que você fosse meu oponente declarado, nunca deixei de fazer sua vontade. Nunca deixei de fazer com que os eventos levassem à sua vitória. Eu virei minhas costas à você, não à sua causa. E não vê? Fui até o fim pelo que seria o seu ápice, a sua glória. Morri por você. Sangrei por você. Deixei tudo para trás por você. E talvez seria melhor ter me afundado no meu próprio egoísmo, mas parece que ultimamente não importa o bem que você causa. Importa o quão cego você é. É tudo que você enxerga; e vais me condenar. Vais me queimar. Por quê? Por quê faz isso?
- ...
- Por que... ? Por quê?
- ...Porque eu deixaria entrar no céu um inimigo declarado de mim?
- ...
- Vá conversar com o diabo. Ele costuma aceitar inimigos.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

They Say I'm Crazy

People keep constantly saying I'm crazy...




I have no idea why they say that

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Depressionseeker

Do not fool yourself thinking you'll be happier when under control. It's a lie. Happiness has no boundaries, just like every other feeling. Restrain one of them, you'll be restraining them all - every action itself creates an echo within Life.
Do not fool yourself thinking you'll hold your feelings and release them under control. It's a lie. A true feeling will only be true once it can't hold itself under restraints. Do not even think you understand your feelings, cause you don't. Feelings are unexplainable, they are trappers, painseekers.
Do not think you'll hold your feelings and therefore live with no pain. You can't, I'm sorry. Embrace pain like you embrace life; sometimes you'll only achieve the top through your own inmost disgraces. If you wish, if you want, you'll have to step through those great rows of thorns and cry, bleed and die. And reborn, and then die again. And then again. Like Hitch would say, we jump, praying God we'll fly, so we don't fall like rocks against the ground. And most of the times, we'll hit the ground. Like a bird that can't fly.
And it's better to live a miserable life than the life of a rock;
it's better to live in pain than with no feeling at all;
and if at your last breath, you weep and cry;
it's better than if you just died.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Last Battle

He, at last, let himself cling to hope.
Not from a train of thought did he choose that, but through the inmost senseless pain he has felt. And from the weaving of (those) two songs did hopefulness come, for he finally endeavoured into the fog of pain he had created, thus facing what he had not feared before.

No mountains for you today.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Andara Mountain

It's so nice that you would die for it. It's so comfortable that you would die for it. It's so amazing that you would die for it. And at the end, you would enjoy it not.